by Derek Morrison

I have a new toy and it’s very very light
It’s made of carbon fibre, and its lines are tight
It has disc brakes and an electric gear
Much better than the one I bought last year.

It looks so good I don’t want to take it for a ride
Messing up its beauty with splashes from the side
But unless I get it out there and into public lights
I’ll miss my five minutes of fame, I’ll miss my bragging rights.

It will make me go so much faster of that I’m sure
For my declining performance this has go to be the cure
So I anticipate improvement, my purchase will enhance
For it’s the same one as ridden in the Tour de France.

It weighs half a kilo less than the one I bought before
But that is reflected in the price, it cost much much more
But viewed rationally it made no economic sense
With each gram of mass reduction equaling 100 pence.

The same sum applied to my losing each gram of weight
Each 100 pence saved, reflecting less food on my plate
Would mean there would be much more to enjoy
From an improved performance on a lesser toy.

[To listen to this verse select below]

 

by Derek Morrison

I struggle hard to understand
My obsession with the leading brand
A transient boost to needy pride
Makes this the only one to ride
Reassuringly expensive the price I paid
To project the image I wish conveyed
Pursuing quality is what I claim
Not tacit value in branded name
But lesser brands are just as viable
And many are much more reliable
But Mondeo class would never do
To align with my peers or crew
Dressed in my ersatz sponsored attire
Cueing lifestyle … or perhaps desire
Quality of life is what I sought
And be admired for what I’ve bought
For brand monsters lie within my head
It’s id and ego who must be fed.

[To listen to this verse select below]

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