Christmas is Cancelled
by Derek Morrison (2020)
[To listen to this verse select below]
Children are weeping
Tears pour from their eyes
For Santa is furloughed
No time for goodbyes
His elves now sell masks
To passing reindeer
And rumours are growing
Christmas is cancelled this year.
Poor taste and a fever
With cough is a sign
Which may come to nothing
Or consume all your time
Only the turkeys are thankful
And full of good cheer
On hearing the message
Christmas is cancelled this year.
Meanwhile …
The Commander Boris
And Saint Nicola too
Extol the necessity
Of what they must do
But Cummings’ goings
Made the message less clear
So is it only for some
Christmas is cancelled this year?
London to Scotland
She travelled by train
Ferrier shared her infection
Then sought to explain
So the people are now
In no mood to hear
That just for them
Christmas is cancelled this year.
Meanwhile …
The Donald’s trumpet
Wasn‘t sounding too good
Dr Hubris attended
But his patient was rude
No need for a mask
No need for fear
But for everyone else
Christmas is cancelled this year.
Till ‘Sleepy’ Joe Biden
Woke to the task
For ‘Fake News’ King
He did soundly unmask
That Narcissus did rage
Infecting truth with fear
So no one will listen, if
Christmas is cancelled this year.
Meanwhile …
The shops and stores
Pray business be brisk
And all the consumers
Would just ignore risk
And Government shed
Tier upon tier
So avoiding the blame, if
Christmas is cancelled this year.
Meanwhile …
No presents or holly
No mistletoe kiss
Grandad and grandma
We’ll just have to miss
Keep your distance
Don’t get too near
Instead embrace the new normal
Christmas is cancelled this year.
Best remember this tale
As you gather and mix
This plague will get you
At one more than six
So just hug and kiss
Those you hold dear
So they’re not at the party, when
Christmas is cancelled next year.
Dramatis Personae
Boris Johnson – Prime Minister of the UK and Leader of the Conservative Party since 2019. Mr Johnson’s early hubris over the Covid 19 virus was replaced by unpleasant reality when he became a victim of the disease.He was admitted to hospital when his condition deteriorated. He appears to have recovered although his critics assert not fully.
Dominic Cummings – At the time of writing the ex-director of the Brexit Vote Leave campaign he has been Chief Adviser (quasi Chief of Staff, consigliere) to Boris Johnson since the latter’s elevation (selection) to high office. Despite an apparent preference for working in the background Cummings was dragged into the limelight during the Corvid 19 crisis. He has been heavily criticised for being one of the architects of a ‘lock-down’ policy which he himself undermined. He drove to his family’s farm in Durham on 27 March 2020 from London during the height of the England lock-down phase of the pandemic while knowing his wife was already unwell with Covid 19 and he was likely to sucumb. He asserted he did not become unwell until the 28 March 2020 and took to his bed. On 12 April 2020 he has recovered sufficiently to drive some 30 miles to the market town of Barnard Castle in Teesdale allegedly as a test of his fitness to make the drive back to London.
Nicola Sturgeon – First Minister of Scotland and Leader of the Scottish National Party since 2014. At the time of writing, as the leader of Scotland’s devolved government she has overall been viewed as a capable manager during the pandemic crisis of 2020. The application of Scotland wide social constraint policies, however, has created tensions because many less populated parts of the country have little if any infections whereas the densly populated central belt has suffered greatly. The behaviour of one of her Scottish National Party MPs has also reflected negatively on the party (see below).
Margaret Ferrier – Scottish National Party Member of UK Parliament since 2019. Is alleged to have attended the UK Parliament in London and then travelled back to Scotland by train despite knowing she was infected with Covid 19. She then refused to resign her seat when asked to do so by her leader Nicola Sturgeon and at the time of writing she has been suspended by the party and is under police investigation.
Donald Trump – President of the United States since 2017. Mr Trump’s naturally hubristic style may play well with his core constituencies but the Covid 19 virus was less impressed when it infected the US President. At the time of writing Mr Trump appears to be projecting his encounter with the virus as an example of his almost superhuman abilities to overcome adversity. The US electorate decided in November 2020 that he did not, in reality, have any superpowers. His Democrat opponent Vice President Jo Biden won the Electoral College and popular vote majority but at the time of writing Donald Trump appears determined to disrupt the transition process with behaviours that seem more in keeping with a would-be despot rather than a president of the world’s lead democracy. What is more concerning is that millions of the US population still seem keen to swallow the poison this individual constantly secretes.
The Grinch – The cynical and misanthropic fictional character in the childrens’ book How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (Dr Seuss, 1957) who had a particular hatred for Christmas and sets out to destroy it. The story, however, has a redemptive and positive ending and so we must wish the same proves true in the current challenge to our ways of life.