No platform here, no dissonant thought This seat of learning is much sought For our safe haven has banished fear Speech codes and policies make it clear Our scholars halos must always shine Deviance reported via our bias line.
We have trigger warnings just in case There’s any risk we’ll fall from grace Preaching our diversity and equality We are proud masters of this polity So we signal virtue in much excess Doing nothing to cause you stress.
Consumer of deeper learning be content No controversy here, no rage to vent Our single glorious free speech zone Means wilder kites can still be flown But rest assured more fragile flowers No storms now blow in Ivory Towers.
I struggle hard to understand
My obsession with the leading brand
A transient boost to needy pride
Makes this the only one to ride
Reassuringly expensive the price I paid
To project the image I wish conveyed
Pursuing quality is what I claim
Not tacit value in branded name
But lesser brands are just as viable
And many are much more reliable
But Mondeo class would never do
To align with my peers or crew
Dressed in my ersatz sponsored attire
Cueing lifestyle … or perhaps desire
Quality of life is what I sought
And be admired for what I’ve bought
For brand monsters lie within my head
It’s id and ego who must be fed.
Journey over, flight now landed But suffering time now expanded 2 long queues at border control Dampens the travel-weary soul 1 snaking line offers human touch A seductive other, technology’s clutch Gambling then on which is faster Digital must surely be the master Opting then for e-passport control Down Alice’s Wonderland rabbit hole The Mad Tea Party made more sense Even the saintly were growing tense As more passengers joined the crowd Government posters declare they’re proud But constipation struck the tortuous queue Technology’s false profit[phet] making tempers stew And the queue got longer.
The border officer with a rictus smile Forced calm in voice; walks the aisle “It’s really easy”; he demos the art “Passport face downwards, show this part Now step through the gate and face the glass Facial recognition will let you pass” But computer doesn’t know you, or is way too slow Crowd grows more restless, no sense of flow One poor innocent chap could not get out Confusion on face, what’s this about? “What’s the point of all this?” One woman protested Filled with rage at tax millions invested A functionary jotted some comments down But auto-bureaucracy still wore the crown And the queue got longer.
The officer gave up and guides some up the line For real people to process which suited us fine Meanwhile, the other queue had shrunk to nil But at e-passport control? They are there still.
